“I
am half sick of shadows,” said the Lady of Shalott.
Are you familiar with the Tennyson poem? The Lady is kept prisoner in a gray, towered castle on the isle of Shalott. The waters surrounding it stream past and downward to Camelot. She is aware that there is a curse upon her, but not sure of its nature. All she knows is that she must sit at her loom and weave the images she sees in the mirror, reflecting the scenes out her window.
In
her mirror, life passes along the road - knights, maids, processions
- but the visions that disturb her the most are the lovers who pass
by starlight and the funerals that pass by day. This causes her
weary statement, “I am half sick of shadows.”
It
is only when Lancelot passes by that she looks directly at him through her window, and
down towards the town. The tapestry flies from its loom, the mirror
cracks in two, and the lady knows the curse is come. She finds a
boat, writes her name upon it, and floats towards Camelot, dying
before she reaches the palace.
In
less than a year, I have lost three friends:
Lady Olivia Robertson,
Judy Harrow,
and now my old friend, Joe Scolarice.
I am battling
Cancer, along with my brother-in-law and a friend or two. Others are
fighting against illness and chronic pain. I, too, am half sick of
shadows.
It
is too easy to stay tucked away, “safe” within towered walls,
seeing the world only through other eyes and venues...
But
that's not living.
Despite
the fear of our own mortality, we have to see, comprehend, and marvel
at the colors and pageantry of life for ourselves, even if it's
risky, even if death walks alongside of life, even if we never feel
safe again.
So, in honor of Olivia, and Judy, and Joe, I'll keep fighting on, doing what I must and appreciating the gift of each new day and experience. Anything less is not living.
Radiation
treatments are done. I am recovering from burns, digestive issues,
nausea, and extreme fatigue.
It IS getting better. I return to the
hospital on June 24th. I don't know what they're
planning, but it better not be anything too invasive. I need to heal.
To
that end, I've been fighting the fatigue by writing. Finally,
finally, finally the Hall-Mills Murders story is done and submitted
with photos. Best yet, my publisher thinks the story is creepy.
Well...yeah! It should appear in the next issue of FATE or the one
after.
(From "Lover's Lane")
I still have more writing projects, a manuscript to start and
one to revise...as well as an old project with a partner. I shouldn't
be bored.
I'm
starting to prepare for the next Para-X. I like to start early so I
can set out all my plans. Then, I can take action once Mercury is
out of Retrograde.
I
am also scheduled to do a book signing on July 26th,
Mystickal Tymes, New Hope PA. I'll have free issues of FATE
Magazine, plus books, Graven Images Oracle decks, pouches, and a few
other surprises. Claude will be my Gal Friday for the event. The
store is busting with new things! So come, shop, buy, and have fun
with us. I'll post the hours when we get closer to the date.
The
other things that help me heal and thrive are my love of Sherlock,
combined with my passion for parody. I've found one wonderful YouTube
clip that appeals to my Old English Teacher mind set. In fact, it's
called... “Grammar Nazi” !
There
is also a wonderful summary of Sherlock seasons 1 & 2, done with
puppets...
And
finally, the parody I've prayed for: Sherlock and Blue's Clues.
In
the fight for happiness and joy, humor is a serious weapon. Our day
will also come but, until then, find purpose, find allies, find
laughter and creativity. Take the battlefield. The game is on!
Just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts - I am doing cancer treatments this summer too. BB, Cate
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that. Blessngs, and keep your chin up! Kat
Deletemay you heal without suffering.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Trying to keep my chin up, but Winter is...well..depressing...
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