AND A ONE, AND A TWO...

I'm sorry. I had nothing planned for this week's blog. So I have resorted to...parodies! Hang on, Who and Lock fans. I'm about to underwhelm you with my ditties.

                                            SHERLOCK'S SONG

                                      ( tune: “All About That Base”)

Because you know it's all about that case, solve the case. No trouble.

It's all about that case, solve that case. No trouble.
It's all about that case, solve that case. No trouble.
It's all about that case, solve that case.

I think it's elementary. I'm not a “Yard” man,

But I can suss a crime scene better than they can.

I know their motives, their henchmen and their faces -

all the tight clues in all the right places.

I can deduce your story the moment that you plop.

Stand up, I know you're lying. I'm bored now; you can stop.

The Yard will soon arrest you, so put 'em up,

And I'm gonna smash your network from the bottom to the top.

At last Lestrade, Mycroft, Molly, and John finally realize,

that it's all truly transport; the puzzle's the only prize.

And if your crime's under seven, you're singing your trite, sad song,

Get out. I'm not wearing pants till a tricky death come along.

And then I will be all about that case, solve the case. No trouble.

It's all about that case, solve that case. No trouble.

It's all about that case, solve that case. No trouble.

It's all about that case, solve that case.

Is Moriarty back?

Well, I can't tell. There's been no new attack.
That's Season 4 – you have to wait for that.
You're whining? Please. When it gets here I've a feeling
it will drive you to your knees.

And I'll be

All about that case, solve the case. No trouble.
It's all about that case, solve that case. No trouble.
It's all about that case, solve that case. No trouble.
It's all about that case, solve that case.

                      CLARA'S DR. WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL SONG

                                           (Tune: If I Only Had A Brain”)

 

I've been sucked on by a dream crab

and now I'm needing rehab
before I go insane.
I am feeling less smarter.
My medulla's turned to tartar
since a dream crab ate my brain.

Am I here in climate zero

or Christmas-ing with dear old
Danny Pink instead?
Snarky elves, reindeer flying,

am I at the Pole or...

'cause a crab is in my head?

Picture me, in ecstasy,

while my vital signs are slowly growing cold.
Do you think this dream crab makes my face look old?

(See what I did?...sigh...I'll quit.)

I was in the sleigh with Santa

repeating my new Mantra:
“It's just a fantasy”.
I am stuck with my face in-
side an alien crustacean
sipping cells like they were tea.

..and this crap's not the hardest..

one more season in the TARDIS

with Capaldi. Oh, bite me !

Sorry if I ruined your day....

...or maybe not.