Sunday, December 4, 2011

Mea Culpa

My life has been a train wreck, of late. Because of this, my blog has gone unattended for far too long. For those of you wondering “What happened?” please forgive me, but I have been blessed to live in “interesting times” - Gods help me.

Honestly, there is a lot going on – some of it pretty scary. I developed another ulcer on my foot, directly above my old wound site. Thankfully, it healed up rather quickly, although the old wound is now having its own troubles. The skin over it cracked, and so it has a habit of bleeding, made worse by my blood thinners.

Why the blood thinners? Because I had a Doppler that showed I MIGHT have a blood clot in my leg. Better safe than sorry, according to my doctor, and so here I go – once a week – to have my blood tested and my medication adjusted. Meanwhile, I had a complete blood panel done. I knew I was buggered when Dr. Scharf called three times:

(first time) “Increase your blood thinner to 5mg.”

(second time) “Increase your insulin to 40 units.”

( third time) “I just looked at your A1C. What the hell are you doing! Get IN here!!”

It just so happened that my endocrinologist was holding all my scripts hostage until I got my stubborn posterior into HIS office. I had the appointment set, so my primary was content to let my specialist rake my sugar soaked booty over the coals. To this meeting, I took my old friend Ellen. Ellen wanted to make sure the doc knew what kind of “big bad” I've been (I asked her to do this, to keep me honest). Turns out my A1C was 12.1... a bit of not good.

So, I must now stay to the straight and narrow. I had already swore to my anam cara, Claude, and my nephew that I would safeguard my health, and I've been true to my word. I have never lied to either of them, and don't intend to start now. Happily my sugars have gone from the high 300's to 96! With change of diet should come change of weight, which will be wonderful for my foot and my mobility. The goal is to travel with Claude and Keith to see my cousins in Ireland next year, healthy, happy and able to walk. Surprisingly, my sister and Guy (brother-in-law) have mentioned possibly going with me. If my Mum were alive, she would never believe it: not only do I get along well with Diane, and enjoy our time together, but would love to have her travel with me. (Mum's idea of “keeping the peace” was to keep Diane and me separate, preventing us from working out our little differences when young. It was a real shame she didn't trust us to push through and find our own peace – but that's all past tense now).

There are changes happening in other areas as well. For the past 2 months I've been very emotional, even to the point of sobbing in my sleep. I have no idea what the crying was about – I haven't been unhappy and don't remember upsetting dreams. There have been things happening to other friends (My buddy Goldie in PA lost her husband a short while ago, and her house burnt to the ground Friday before Samhain, and another friend lost her mother Samhain morning) but nothing to bring me to the point of sobbing! Goldie's situation prompted me to action, gathering replacements for her magical tools, clothes etc. (Boxes are coming, Goldie!). My other friend's loss was sad, but her mother was suffering. Her passing was also a relief.

It got so ridiculous that I played a CD my first love made for me a few years ago, and broke out in tears the minute I heard his voice. I couldn't continue to drive! I mean, OK. I'm proud of him, always loved his voice, miss singing with him, may even get teary-eyed nostalgic, but this was loony tunes.

Wil performing in Nashville

Then I started to notice that when I got that way, someone always showed up needing help, or comfort, or advice. It was as though I was clearing space in my heart so I would have the empathy to relate to these folks. It was a cleansing, of a sort.

It also prepared me for other changes happening in my life. I can't really discuss details just yet, but I'm about to go into complete lifestyle overhaul. Almost everything is going to change for me and, while some may say I'm dancing with adversity, I feel great potential and opportunity ahead. There will be more on this as the weeks progress. Thankfully, I have talented and caring friends guiding me through the metaphysical barrier reef!

I have spent the latter portion of the Fall enticing my friends and fellow Sherlockians to watch the BBC's “Sherlock” and reading through the Fan Fiction. There are wonderful tales being written (as well as slash and porn, but I usually skip all that), as well as some great art. “Season” 2 won't come to these shores until May 6th 2012, although BBC One will be showing it in January. For those who are Conan-Doyle fans, I would like to make a plea for support. His home, Undershaw, is slated to be turned into 3 terrace houses. In the interim, the premises is being allowed to fall into ruin. It was at Undershaw that Doyle wrote some of his best Sherlock, including “Hound of the Baskervilles”. Please visit the Undershaw website and lend your support:

Undershaw in better days

Doyle at Undershaw

Undershaw today, falling into ruin

As I mentioned in a prior post, I enjoyed myself immensely at Para-X. I'm happy to report that I've been asked to be a speaker at the next. I have to make sure I'm not in Ireland at the time! Fairly soon, Keith and I will be prowling around New Brunswick, NJ setting up the pictures for yet another Fate Magazine article, “Haunted New Brunswick.” I already have the photos I wish to use in my final article on Glastonbury. After that, I'm not sure what I will do. I have neglected my manuscript shamefully, and intend to have that completed and shopped out by Spring.

Finally, as promised, here are a few more of the gargoyle pictures that did not see the light of day in my Fate article. All photos are by my wonderful nephew, Keith Filarowitz.  Enjoy.  I'll post more next time!
A metal lion on a Red Bank door

A lion's head on a Red Bank public building

A worn Princeton gargoyle..

... and a Classic one, still surviving the elements

Grotesques can be a beautiful face.... one plagued by monkeys!

The chapel has owls...

...and a bat!...

..and even this steampunk looking fellow!