Friday, May 24, 2013

And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor

Since I spend a lot of time housebound, I get to see a lot of television. It follows, as night follows the day, that I am exposed not only to the vast cultural wasteland that is the telly, but also the commercials that support it. I have finally gotten to such a saturation point that I must speak out regarding several genres and individual advertisements.

  1. Thank you, lawyers of various description, for your quick, minute long proclamations of gloom and disease during daytime programing. You get points for cleverness by assuming those of us watching, and becoming one with the sofa, are there for a reason: we are old, injured, out-of-work and/or desperate for cash. Telling us that fairly common medications are currently ruining our bladders, kidneys, thyroids etc., and that we “might have a case” is sure to invoke a new client or two. It could also cause those so medicated to stop taking the pills that keep them upright, breathing, and watching your spots. Ho-hum, not your problem, I suppose.
    However, you all loose a point for the consistent wording of your ads. “If you, or a loved one, took XYZ, and suffered this, that, the-other-thing, or death...” Hey, what do you know? I'm dead. I'll contact a Ouija board? I mean, REALLY. We all hear it, we all mock it, find someone who can phrase this thought properly.

  1. Nicely done, Mother Agency. You've given Optimum a winning commercial by pleading with us not to call Michael Bolton. You first show us their number, then Michael's with a one digit difference. You beg us to leave him alone. You know damn right well we're idiots. I knew it was a set up, and even I called. Tried and true gimmick, but effective. BTW: If any of you now decide to give the number a try, Michael's jokes are not that'll see...

  1. Thank you, Comcast Business phone, for removing the commercial in which various business owners complain about their old carriers. No one wants to face rising rates, and you would obviously wish to target the professional level of business financial controllers to inform them of the savings you provide... professionals like the young woman who looked directly into the camera and declared, “We was wasting money”. Gee, was we? Here's hoping your math ability far outstrips your verbal skills.
Dear postal service: You remember this commercial?

        Never, EVER run this thing again. I will have to hurt you.

            5) Finally, there is this current advertisement from Thompson's:


  I know you men like to protect your wood, especially your hard wood, but this takes the cake. No one you auditioned for voice-over work could pronounce “deck”? Really? It's nice to know that an application of water seal makes sure your “dick” stays beautiful.

Good for you, gentlemen.

I also find myself spending too much time on the computer. Recently, I've been flooded with weird e-mails regarding my various “names”. For instance, the following chart allows you to discover your Werewolf name.

click on this image to make it bigger

Mine is Scarlet Hound. As a ginger, this is pretty spot on, except..I sound like the pack strumpet. By going to Google and typing “ Your Hobbit name, Your Pagan name, Your Witch name, Your Elf name etc.” you can find out an awful lot about yourself. For instance, my Hobbit name is Autumn Moss of Lake-By-Downs. Humm. I like that. My elf name is Isil Vardamir. Are there Russian elves?


My Pagan name is: Brigit Epona Maeve. (OK, that was a little close for comfort, as anyone who knows my Craft name will tell you.) Another name generator says it's “Morning Bird”. My Fairy name is Feather Snowwand.

Finally, my witch name? It's: Noreen Wormcackler. (The witch/wizard generator says it's Ashlyntear. I like that.) Lovely. How does one cackle worms?

Try it for yourselves. Have a little fun, this holiday.

Remember the troops that serve us, have served, and all those who made the ultimate sacrifice. Bless you all, and thanks.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother Machree

Mother's Day. Hum. I got a few cards from various friends, mostly saying, “Even if you don't have a child, this day is for you.” That's very nice. The daughter I helped raise called me, first thing, to talk about major changes in her life, and to wish me a happy day. Not every mother had to go through pregnancy and labor to bring forth an offspring. Some became a parent by default, like I did, some became an inter-species mother (are you listening, Rufus?) and some became, due to age and wisdom, in loco parentis. I have had that honor as well.

My furry kid ( or “fid” as my sister says) woke me with a ton of kisses, then went back and licked his bum. What he was doing before my kisses...I don't really want to know. I haven't received a gift yet but, before the day is through, I'm sure he'll be leaving me a present somewhere in the hall.



Most of today I spent visiting with Claude and discussing the Para-X show in October. 
I know it's early, but I have a lot of craft work ( small “c”, not capital “C”, although I have a lot of that as well) to do to prepare. I wanted to get the items for my “swag bag” printed up front (business cards, broomstick pens, and other goodies given away free as promotional items). This year, I wanted to emphasize Graven Images Oracle, a predictive deck created by Natalie Zaman and myself a few years back. I also decided to create a GIO bookmark for the swag bag.

I took the name image from the book which accompanies the deck, and wanted another graphic for the back. Thankfully, Nat had taken a great shot of the cards fanned out with the book and pouch, so I went on Google Image to suss it out.
  Imagine my surprise when I saw many of our cards popping up on a lot of separate sites – mostly blogs. Checking a few of them out, I saw that people were using them in creative ways, and really digging down into the interpretations. As the gal who wrote that portion, it was very gratifying. Some people even followed the writing careers of Natalie and myself. That was nice...maybe a bit creepy...but flattering. One person even used some of the most positive cards to do a personal collage.

That's the best reward: when something you did with love, passion and lots of time/effort inspires someone else.

In the long run, I downloaded images, spoke with the print company about tweaks and corrections, and the final product is pictured below. I asked the company if they could drill a tassel hole in the top. That service was $50. Wha...? Gary picked me up a Staples single hole punch for $4. The above and a colorful skull bead and I had one fine, hand-assembled bookmark. Come on out for the show in October and get yours!

I will also be using – and selling – Ogham rune sets. Easy, accurate, and they come with a hand sewn pouch and instructions. (Ogham are Irish runes.) 
There will be Pagan prayer beads, other hand made goods, and some Halloween items from my personal collection. It's going to be a great show.

Here's another bit of happy news: Broomstix is back in it's new, blog format.

For now, Natalie is posting some of the material from the old e-zine twice a week. Some material is also appearing as part of Pagan Square, hosted by Pagan & Witches Magazine. Come December, new material will be going up. To follow the Broomstix Blog, go to: . There is a link on that site which will bring you to Broomstix on Pagan Square!

More happy news: My poem “Circle” is appearing in the current issue of Circle Magazine.

It's a small poem, but significant (for me). I haven't written poetry for a good 15 years, and it's nice to re-discover my muse. (The goddess-chick just up and left me...wandered off , then came moseying back smelling of incense, mint tea and Chipolte. Oooh, Chipolte..)

Finally, someone sent me the following video. Since I had mentioned inspiration and creativity, I think it's a great example of what the human mind is capable of achieving if the passion is strong. Enjoy.

This is a new little friend that Claude bought for me as a cheer-up gift on a blue day. I have a thing for the bumbles. He's wishing all you Mothers out there (pick your own definitions) a bee-utiful day.